Keeping calm during conflict is a skill that can be learned. Name the emotion, discomfort, anger, disgust. If you try and block it out, it has the opposite effect. If you’re feeling bad during the conversation, acknowledge it, and move on. Speaking slowly gives you time to find the right words. The other person has time to listen and understand what you’re saying, and think before they respond. This helps you keep your breath in check and your heart rate normal. Take a deep breath before each sentence and speak slowly. When you reflect on challenging conversations, there’s more meaning in silences than much of the chatter. It lets you and the other person process their thoughts and choose their words carefully. When you’re in a difficult conversation, it’s ok to be quiet and still. They don’t need to fill every silence with nonsense. Or the person listening to people, making quiet and interesting conversation? The most confident people are quiet. Who do you think is the most confident? Is it the person talking over everyone, about all inane things? The person sitting in the corner on their phone? When you go to a party, scan the room to see who’s there. The only way to get used to it is through practice. You’ll need to get used to being in complex situations, differing perceptions and vagueness. A team leader has an underperforming team member. A team member has an illness that they don’t really want to discuss but have to anyway. You’re also the person they turn to when things aren’t going well. Advising managers on best practices to help their teams. Working in HR you get to do a lot of rewarding things, like hiring people for their ideal role, training and developing. When you have to do it again, it will be a little easier. When you have a difficult conversation, you know it will be uncomfortable and that you’ll get through it. Learning to ride a bike or drive a car once seemed impossible. When you take on bigger challenges, they are difficult and uncomfortable at first then you get used to them. If you do this constantly, you’ll have to do fire-fighting all the time, to solve problems bigger than they need to be. Give it enough time and it will either go away or escalate into a much bigger problem. You bury your head in the sand and hope the issue goes away. It’s easy to avoid difficult conversations. Avoid coffee and tea as they are too stimulating. You get a break whenever you take a sip and you can say you need to get a refill when you need a longer break. When you have a difficult conversation, have a glass of water. When you’re finished, the world outside the meeting room continues as normal. It’s a reminder that the conversation is no big deal. It gives you a chance to think through your thoughts, reflect on your performance and theirs. You never know what inspiration will strike when you take that short break. Some meetings are unproductive and there’s no point staying there if the issue isn’t going to be resolved. Excuse yourself to go to the bathroom, give a ten-minute tea-break, or reschedule the meeting. If the conversation is going nowhere or if emotions are running high, take a break. It takes you out of the rush hour traffic in your head and lets you regain clarity. Are they flat or curled? How do they feel in your shoes? Can you wiggle them? When you focus on your toes for a moment, you’re back in your body. During the conversation, think of your toes!. In challenging situations, we’re stuck in our heads! This makes you seem less present. How can you move back to the right direction?.It’s easy to lose sight of the end goal when you’re under pressure. If you’ve read the previous articles, you’ll have a positive intention that you keep referring to.Ĭheck-in with yourself throughout the meeting, to see if your attitude changes. Complete guide to overcoming difficult conversations at work Check-in with your attitude
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